We’ve already covered Titanic 2 on the podcast and it was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in my life so my expectations for Titanic 666 were rock bottom. Technically Titanic 2 2 being a sequel to Titanic 2 which is not itself actually a sequel to Titanic but if I think about it too long my head starts to hurt. Titanic 666 stars Jamie Bamber and Keesha Sharp and was directed by solid journeyman Nick Lyons. It was made for Tubi which is where streaming dreams go to die.
S2E18 Enter the Asylum - The Da Vinci Treasure (2006)
Who doesn’t love a very cheap movie based on a successful film adaptation of a wildly successful novel written by a man who writes with all the grace and flair of a malfunctioning toilet? That’s what we get with The Asylum’s The Da Vinci Treasure, a mockbuster of the 2006 adaptation of The Da Vinci Code. They may not have Tom Hanks or Paul Bettany but they do have C Thomas Howell and a depressingly brief turn from Lance Henrikson. Join us for a truly wild ride that takes in London, half of Italy, Athens very briefly, and also Afghanistan for some reason in search of treasure hidden by Leonardo Da Vinci for very unclear reasons.
S2E14 - Enter the Asylum - Transmorphers (2007)
It’s possible there are worse film makers out there than Michael Bay and if there are they’ve almost certainly worked for The Asylum at some point. Transmorphers is their attempt to recreate the cinematic magic of Bay’s Transformers movie, an astonishing franchise that somehow manages to be much stupidity than the Saturday morning cartoon from the 80s. How well does it work? Listen along to find out.
S2E7 - Enter the Asylum - Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus (2009)
In which HJDoom spends far too many words talking about The Asylum’s 2009 creature feature that does more or less what it says on the tin. There’s a shark. There’s an octopus. There’s no money. Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus stars Debbie Gibson, Lorenzo Lamar, Vic Chao, and Sean Lawlor. It was written and directed by Jack Perez under the pseudonym Ace Hannah.
S2E5 - Enter the Asylum - Monster Mash (2024)
The Universal Monster movies are one of my absolute favourite things so the obvious thing to do was watch a deeply cynical attempt to cash in on their unique visual aesthetic whilst spending as little money as possible. What a glorious time to be alive.
S2E1 - Enter The Asylum: Scarecrow (2002)
The Asylum is perhaps the most hated movie studio in Hollywood, churning out extremely cheap movies which are usually based on an existing and more popular film. They are the undisputed masters of the mockbuster and their films are typically derided as parasitic cash ins. We’re going to find out if all that hate is deserved by watching as many Asylum movies as I can stand. We start with one of their early films from 2002, the simple tale of a bullied weirdo who turns into a murderous scarecrow for reasons that are deeply unclear.