Once upon a time you couldn't move for gorillas in the movies and, thanks to the King Kong remake in 2005, the Asylum got on some of that sweet ape action. Ostensibly an adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's Lost World this horribly cheap jungle adventure features Bruce Boxleitner as the token actor you've heard of. How bad does the giant ape look? Listen along to find out.
S2E11 - Enter the Asylum - Titanic 2 (2010)
The sheer brass neck of making an unauthorised sequel to Titanic is in many ways the most impressive thing about this film. Is it possible to remake one of the greatest visual spectacles in modern cinema without access to vast quantities of money? Is it possible to do it without access to a boat? All these questions and more will be answered in this week’s episode.
S2E10 = Enter the Asylum - Battle for Pandora (2022)
If there’s one thing The Asylum loves it’s riffing on the work of James Cameron. Battle for Pandora, timed to coincide with the release of Avatar: The Way of Water in 2022 attempts to ride on the coattails of Cameron’s beautiful but boring science fiction epics. There’s no money for an actual epic so instead they follow a well-worn path in low budget science fiction. How well does it land? Listen along to find out.
S2E9 - Enter the Asylum - Android Cop (2014)
In 2014 there was arguably only one film less hotly anticipated than the remake of Robocop and that was the mockbuster of the remake of Robocop. Android Cop, The Asylum’s foray into the world of Robocop rip offs, a remarkable fecund genre of movie. It’s got a stacked cast by the standards of Asylum movies since it features both Michael Jai White and Charles S Dutton in key roles. But will the middling star power of the man who starred in Spawn be enough to save this movie? Listen along to find out.
S2E8 - Enter the Asylum - Battle Star Wars (2020)
The Star Wars franchise is one of the most beloved pieces of intellectual property in the world, despite Disney's best efforts to run it into the ground. Can the Asylum produce something worse than The Rise of Skywalker? Listen along to find out how space opera works when you can't afford either space or opera.
S2E7 - Enter the Asylum - Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus (2009)
In which HJDoom spends far too many words talking about The Asylum’s 2009 creature feature that does more or less what it says on the tin. There’s a shark. There’s an octopus. There’s no money. Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus stars Debbie Gibson, Lorenzo Lamar, Vic Chao, and Sean Lawlor. It was written and directed by Jack Perez under the pseudonym Ace Hannah.
S2E6 - Enter The Asylum - The Terminators (2009)
Who knew that you could avoid infringing the copyright of The Terminator by simply sticking a letter S on the end? The Asylum that’s who. This was far from their first rodeo and it’s an effort to cash in on Terminator Salvation a film that looks better in retrospect only because everything got much worse after that point. The Terminator takes the core premise of a robot uprising but adds a little of that low budget magic by relocating most of the action to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Is it any good? No. Obviously not but is it any good by the peculiar standards of Asylum movies? Listen along to find out.
S2E5 - Enter the Asylum - Monster Mash (2024)
The Universal Monster movies are one of my absolute favourite things so the obvious thing to do was watch a deeply cynical attempt to cash in on their unique visual aesthetic whilst spending as little money as possible. What a glorious time to be alive.
S2E4 - Enter the Asylum - Snakes on a Train (2006)
Snakes on a Plane was arguably 2006’s biggest disappointment, a film that promised so much more than it was able to deliver despite the presence of noted charisma haver Samuel L Jackson. Fortunately all was not lost as The Asylum bravely decided to tackle the idea of reptiles on public transport with Snakes on a Train. It’s got no budget but can it manage to deliver some slithery thrills regardless? Listen along to find out what opinions HJDoom has on the matter.
S2E3 - Enter The Asylum - Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill
Zombie movies. The finest art form known to humanity or only the second finest art form known to humanity? This is one of the questions that may or may not be answered as HJDoom takes on The Asylum’s first movie produced in house and a rare foray originality (insofar as a zombie movie in 2004 could be called original). It’s certainly very cheap but is it also rubbish? Listen along to find out.
S2E2 - Enter The Asylum: H. G. Wells' War of the Worlds (2005)
Episode 2 of our deep dive into The Asylum sees us tackle the company’s first and arguably most successful mockbuster, H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds from 2005 which just so happened to come out at the same time as Spielberg’s riff on the classic novel. It’s obviously incredibly cheap but it does have H Thomas Howell in it. Will that help? Listen along to find out.
S2E1 - Enter The Asylum: Scarecrow (2002)
The Asylum is perhaps the most hated movie studio in Hollywood, churning out extremely cheap movies which are usually based on an existing and more popular film. They are the undisputed masters of the mockbuster and their films are typically derided as parasitic cash ins. We’re going to find out if all that hate is deserved by watching as many Asylum movies as I can stand. We start with one of their early films from 2002, the simple tale of a bullied weirdo who turns into a murderous scarecrow for reasons that are deeply unclear.
Episode 6 - The Eye of Argon
Join HJDoom for an examination of possibly the worst (but secretly maybe the best) thing ever commited to paper, The Eye of Argon by Jim Theiss.
Episode 5 - The Coyote Gospel
This episode HJDoom looks at issue 5 of Animal Man, a DC superhero comic written by Grant Morrison and illustrated by Chas Troug and Don Hazlewood with colours by Tatjana Wood and letters by John Costanza. The cover art is by Brian Bolland.
Episode 4 - The Damp Man
Join HJDoom has we explore the work of a forgotten master of the weird tale, Allison V Harding. A curious and elusive figure who wrote over a short period but left behind a fascinating body of work.
Episode 3 - Wario Land 2
Who doesn’t love a Gameboy game about a being of pure id? Wario Land 2 from 1998 is a fascinating little game which shows that it’s not always the most powerful platform that has the most memorable games. HJDoom takes you on a tour through the strange history of a large, furious man.
Episode 2 - The Collect Call of Cathulhu
HJDoom takes a look at an episode of The Real Ghostbusters cartoon from 1987, The Collect Call of Cathulhu, and gives his barely informed thoughts on this curious slice of kids entertainment inspired by the works of HP Lovecraft.
Episode 1 - I Was A Communist For the FBI
Join Hieronymous J Doom as he takes you on a tour of media produced before the turn of the millennium. In this inaugural episode we’re looking at I Was A Communist For the FBI, a classic piece of red scare paranoia from the 1950s.