We’ve all got that friend or acquaintance who’s prone to exaggeration. Sometimes they’re prone to talking absolute nonsense, inventing stories out of who cloth. But when they’re a serial porky-teller, how do you tell when they are and aren’t telling the truth?
Episode 94: C'Mon Kids
This week’s listener has a particularly Millennial conundrum for us: how to get their beau to play Pokemon Go? Rather than let on that we are, in fact, really rather old, we approach this question with the seriousness and tact you probably think it deserves if you never knew a time before the internet.
Episode 93: Sweet dreams, beautiful nightmares
Our questioner this week is plagued by bad dreams. The naughtier Oneiroi are vexing them right up.
How can they vanquish these dreams, or at least make them more interesting?
Why, by asking us, no less.
Episode 92: Work bitch
Our questioner’s workplace has all gone a bit Game of Thrones. No, not gratuitous nudity behind the photocopier, nor incest in the stationery cupboard - it’s political, and they are not.
How can a poor rube survive in an office rife with politics, back-stabbing, and intrigue?
Why, by asking us of course.
Apologies for the few seconds’ silence after the intro music on this week’s show. And by ‘apologies’, we mean ‘blame Roger’.
Episode 91: With a Little Help From My Friends
This week’s questioner has concerns dear listener, and they concern 90s primetime landfill sitcom Friends. That, and the youth. We hate both of those things, so we’re happy to help out.
Episode 90: Revolution Blues
Our questioner this week would like to upend the current state of things and bring joy and light to a dark world. But they also don’t really fancy leaving the house or engaging with any other human beings. How can we reconcile these two opposing and very valid desires?
Episode 89: Here Come The Geese
This week’s questioner has perhaps the most relatable issue we’ve ever addressed.
Episode 88: People Like Us
Sometimes, the things you like stop being fun, whether by natural attrition, the increased interest of other people or, should we dare to admit it, by becoming bad or not having been any good in the first place. What are we to do when this happens? You’d better believe we’ve got some fixes for you, bucko.
Episode 87: Prime Retail
One forceful embuggerance of the modern age is the decline of the local shop, something this week’s questioner is abundantly sympathetic to. If only they’d not whinge about it. What to do, what to do?
Episode 86: Magic Bus
Public transport - what a wonderful idea! What a horrific pit of disease and antisocial behaviour in practice. This week’s listener is, presumably as some form of penance, temporarily forced onto the bus, and we’re here to get them through it.
Episode 85: It's All Fun And Games
Our questioner starts hobbies but never commits to them, leaving them unsatisfied with their efforts. A shame, but is it one our fixers can help address? I’d be very surprised if it wasn’t.
Episode 84: Do They Know It's Christmas?
It’s the festive season, and some people just won’t play along. This week’s questioner wants their deskmate to enjoy the festive season so they can really ramp up the non-stop festivity this season requires. What to do? I can think of no better people to bring Christmas cheer than us.
Episode 83: Do It Yourself
This weeks’s questioner likes to Make Things, and despite the enjoyment they derive from this, their swearing and behaviour while doing so resembles that of a particularly sexually-aggressive chimpanzee. What, then, to do? Why, dear listener, to fix it.
Featuring a special guest: a very loud laptop fan!
Episode 82: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
We’ve all watched enough holiday specials to know that you can make your own traditions, that family is where you find it, and not to touch any creek bodies you find - no matter how tempting - lest you get framed for an escalating series of brutal murders. This week’s questioner struggles with that first thing - specifically how to carry on a Christmas tradition without one of its participants.
Episode 81: White House Blues
A very important question this week - when work is getting to you from every direction, how do you find the time and energy to extricate yourself from a bad situation. We’re here to help, and so is Fixbot 3000 - the world’s first automated fixing machine!
Episode 80: Low Fidelity
A matter of fidelity this week, as our questioner would prefer some more of that sort of thing from their partner. Will we fix it? Very much depends on what you’re willing to accept as an answer.
Episode 79: Analysis
A superabundance of willing twinkflesh brings with it a hefty helping of people who are in need of fixing and so they turn, not to us, but to this week’s questioner, who would like to return to a rigorous schedule of nobbing without all the troublesome feelings. We’re here to help. It’s what we do.
Episode 78: Timeshare Nightmare
It’s a four-fixer week as we tackle a colleague (male) who has no comprehension that his (female) colleague is actually capable of performing her job. How to stop this fuckstick from persistently undermining our questioner?
For more information on the “hero’s journey” and how to weaponise it, see episode 61.
Episode 77: The Kids Are Alright
A traumatic childhood can all-too-easily be transmitted down the generations, but that's not the case with this week's questioner. Rather, they want to know how to praise their partner for raising their children with kindness, but without being a dick about it. We, sensitive as ever, spring into action.
Episode 76: Don't Mess Up A good Thing
Another bumper week, as four fixers get to the messy (ho ho!) task of reputation management. Our listener has a reputation they would rather shed like so many discarded pizza boxes and browning apple cores. Can we fix that? Almost certainly.