When the honeymoon period in a relationship ends, it can be hard keeping the spark of pure nasty alive, especially when, like our poor questioner here, you don't have a basement oubliette for "sexy" "captive" "roleplay". What to do, what to do? We'll tell you.

If you missed part one of our Valentines' podcasting spectacular, it's here, on the slightly less fun topic of abusive relationships.